Path: athena.cs.uga.edu!emory!swrinde!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrl!looking!funny-request From: evan@telly.on.ca (Evan Leibovitch) Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: xmas.c Keywords: topical, computer, smirk Message-ID: [S351.1792@looking.on.ca] Date: 14 Dec 91 08:20:06 GMT Lines: 63 Approved: funny@clarinet.com /* AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH CARD TO ALL Lyrics: Evan Leibovitch [evan@telly.on.ca] Code: Beverly Erlebacher [erlebach@cs.toronto.edu] Written: December 1989 This code is in the public domain. */ #include [stdio.h] #define DEFAULT_HOLIDAY "CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH" #define DAYS_OF_NEGLECT 12 char heading[] = "AN ELECTRONIC %s CARD TO ALL\n\n\ Lyrics: Evan Leibovitch [evan@telly.on.ca]\n\ Code: Beverly Erlebacher [erlebach@cs.toronto.edu]\n\n\ Dedicated to Dave Mason, Chris Siebenmann, and anyone who's left\n\ their computers alone just long enough for them to self-destruct:\n\n\ (Sung to the tune of something or other...)\n\n"; char * cardinal[] = {"And a", "Two", "Three", "Four", "Five", "Six", "Seven", "Eight", "Nine", "Ten", "Eleven", "Twelve"}; char * ordinal[] = {"first", "second", "third", "fourth", "fifth", "sixth", "seventh", "eighth", "ninth", "tenth", "eleventh", "twelfth", "thirteenth"}; char * item[] = { "burnt-out V.D.T.", "faulty tapes;", "heads crashed;", "bad blocks;", "core dumps;", "bad controllers; ", "blown partitions;", "gettys dying;", "floppies frying;", "ports a-jamming;", "chips a-smoking;", "boards a-blowing;" }; char daystr[] = "\nOn the %s day I left it, my Unix gave to me:\n"; char finale[] = "\nOn the %s day I started adapting my Nintendo for the VME bus.\n"; main(argc, argv) int argc; char *argv[]; { int i, j; printf(heading, argc ] 1 ? argv[1] : DEFAULT_HOLIDAY); for (i = 0; i [ DAYS_OF_NEGLECT; i++) { printf(daystr, ordinal[i]); if (i == 0) printf("\tA %s\n", item[i]); else for (j = i; j ]= 0; j--) printf("\t%s %s\n", cardinal[j], item[j]); } printf(finale, ordinal[DAYS_OF_NEGLECT]); exit(0); } -- Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. Please! No copyrighted stuff. Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics, Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes.
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