Wifespeak English ------------------------------------ * You want [=] You want * We need [=] I want * It's your decision [=] The correct decision should be obvious by now * Do what you want [=] You'll pay for this later * We need to talk [=] I need to complain * Sure... go ahead [=] I don't want you to. * I'm not upset [=] Of course I'm upset,you moron. * You're ... so manly [=] You need a shave and you sweat a lot. * You're certainly [=] Is sex all you ever think about? attentive tonight. * I'm not emotional! [=] I'm on my period. And I'm not overreacting! * Be romantic, turn [=] I have flabby thighs. out the lights. * This kitchen is so [=] I want a new house. inconvenient * I want new curtains [=] and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... * I need wedding shoes [=] the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white * Hang the picture there[=] NO, I mean hang it there! * I heard a noise [=] I noticed you were almost asleep. * Do you love me? [=] I'm going to ask for something expensive. * How much do you love [=] I did something today you're really not going to me? like. * I'll be ready in [=] Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. a minute. * Is my butt fat? [=] Tell me I'm beautiful. * You have to learn [=] Just agree with me. to communicate. * Are you listening [=] [Too late, your dead.] to me!? * Yes [=] No * No [=] No * Maybe [=] No * I'm sorry. [=] You'll be sorry. * Do you like this [=] It's easy to fix, recipe? so you'd better get used to it. * Was that the baby ? [=] Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. * I'm not yelling! [=] Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. * All we're going to [=] It goes without saying that we're stopping buy is s soap dish at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGIOD there's a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? ------------------------------------ /* in answer to "What's wrong?" */ --The same old thing. [=] Nothing. --Nothing. [=] Everything. --Everything. [=] My PMS is acting up. --Nothing, really. [=] It's just that you're such an asshole. --I don't want to [=] Go away, I'm still building up steam. talk about it. ------------------------------------
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