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From: cate3@netcom.com (Henry Cate)
Message-Id: [199410251339.GAA07223@netcom17.netcom.com]
To: JYonder.dl@netcom.com
Subject: Life C.6
Reply-to: cate3@netcom.com
Status: R
---------------
Date: 4 Feb 94 12:48:05 PST (Friday)
Subject: Life C.6
All of the following are selections from Keith Bostic's mailing list
bostic@vangogh.cs.berkeley.edu
----------------------------------------------------
This posting contains a list of Frequently Asked Questions and their
answers about cryonics, the practice of carefully preserving very
recently clinically and legally dead people in hopes that they can be
revived in the future. It should be read by anyone interested in
posting to sci.cryonics and by anyone who finds the prospect of certain
death irritating.
-- Cryonics FAQ Summary
--------------------------
The Hague (Reuter) - A huge mountain of manure threatening
a national crisis topped the agenda on monday for the Dutch
parliament. Deputies passed a law slashing the amount of
animal waste that farmers can produce by a third.
Animal dung is a massive problem in the Netherlands, where
it pollutes the country's rivers and canals, encouraging the
growth of algae that starve the water of oxygen.
Under the legislation, pig and poultry farmers, the worst
polluters, will have until 1995 to reduce by 30 percent the
amount of phosphate nutrient produced in manure compared to
1986. They hope to do this by changing the animals' diet.
--------------------------
From: phz@cadence.com (Pete Zakel)
Subject: I Broke Malloc
I don't remember having seen this before, so hopefully I'm the first to
point out yet another meaning for the infamous TLA, IBM (see subject
line).
It seems that in AIX version 3 (IBM's so-called Unix), the pointer
returned by malloc does not point to memory that has been allocated ...
(big pause) ... yet (maybe it should be called malloc_not_really?).
The memory supposedly allocated by malloc doesn't really get allocated
until you actually try to touch it, which is a big boon if you are using
very large very sparse arrays, but not very useful otherwise.
If, when you try to access the memory that you have supposedly
allocated, the allocator can't really give you the memory, the operating
system kills you off and outputs the cryptic and spectacularly unuseful
message: "Killed".
But wait! All is not lost!
In their infinite wisdom, IBM has provided an interrupt that warns you
that you can't really access the memory that malloc_not_really said it
gave you, so that you can implement your own memory allocation scheme
to do what malloc normally does on any real Unix system (they even
provide an example), and the name of the signal is SIGDANGER.
I hereby decree (if I may be so bold) that this signal be henceforth
and forever known as SIGDANGER_WILL_ROBINSON -- for obvious reasons.
--------------------------
THE BLO -- BARBIE LIBERATION ORGANIZATION -- STRIKES
By BRIGITTE GREENBERG
Associated Press Writer
SAN DIEGO (AP) -- When 7-year-old Zachariah Zelin ripped off the
Christmas wrapping, he squealed with delight. Santa brought the talking G.I.
Joe doll he wanted. Problem was, Joe talked like Barbie.
His doll stands at the ready in its Army fatigues, machine gun and hand
grenades at its side. But it says things like, "Want to go shopping?"
The BLO has claimed responsibility. That's Barbie Liberation
Organization.
Made up of more than 50 concerned parents, feminists and other
activists, the BLO claims to have surreptitiously switched the voice boxes
on 300 G.I. Joe and Barbie dolls across the United States this holiday
season.
"We have operatives all over the country," said one BLO member, who
wished to remain anonymous. "Our goal is to reveal and correct the problem
of gender-based stereotyping in children's toys."
Among the messages the tampered G.I. Joe utters are, "I love school.
Don't you?" and "Let's sing with the band tonight."
In a deep voice, the altered Barbie says, among other things, "Dead men
tell no lies."
The BLO claims a few other doll voices were reversed in Canada, France
and England. The group contends Barbie teaches sexism and passivity in
girls, and G.I. Joe influences boys to act violently.
A spokesman for Hasbro Inc., the maker of G.I. Joe, called the BLO's
attack "ridiculous."
"This will move us to have a good laugh and go on making more G.I.
Joes," said Wayne Charness of the Pawtucket, R.I.-based toymaker. "Barbie
dolls and G.I. Joes are part of American culture."
A spokeswoman for Barbie's creator, Mattel Inc. of El Segundo, would
say only that no consumers have complained.
When Zachariah was asked whether he wanted Santa to take back the
feminine Joe, he responded sharply, "No way."
"I love him. I like everything about him," he said as he and three
neighborhood friends played with the doll. "He's teaching me not to fight."
His parents are thrilled, too. Although Zachariah has water guns, his
parents say they oppose violent toys and were unwilling to buy the G.I. Joe.
The doll was Zachariah's grandparents' idea. The parents were shocked,
but tickled, when the doll turned out the way it did.
Zachariah's parents said they are not part of the BLO, and had never
heard of it.
"I think it really became an educational toy. I'm really happy it
worked out this way," said Zachariah's mother, Susan Orlofsky. "Our job is
to help him understand so that he doesn't think he has to be a soldier. I
think it's amazing."
--------------------------
From: sef@kithrup.com
Subject: Re: MOST AT MIT ADMIT TO CHEATING
I bet there aren't really that many cheaters at MIT; I bet most people
just used whatever answers their neighbors used.
--------------------------
Last night I heard this story on the news.
Apple has a new computer under development. Their project name for it
was "Carl Sagan" (I don't know why).
When the real Carl Sagan learned about this, he was upset. He demanded
that Apple stop using his name, even for their private, internal
projects.
Apple agreed. They changed the name of the project to
"Butthead Astronomer".
--------------------------
From: Matt Crawford [crawdad@munin.fnal.gov]
Yeah, I heard about the endowment of the Feynman chair. And as for
the bowling-ball demo, you can relay this anecdote back to your list
if you like ...
When I took the same freshman physics class in 1974-75, in the same
lecture hall ("201 Bridge -- it snows here even on the hottest
days!") the same demo was performed. (Actually, the pendulum bob
was not a bowling ball by this time, but a shiny brass sphere about
18 inches in diameter.) The first quarter of the course was taught
by a hot young field theorist and Feynman-sycophant.
As she released the massive pendulum, she gave it a slight push, then
calmly awaited its return. Another professor saw the push, leaped
from his seat in the front row, and tackled the first professor out
of the way, a few moments before the pendulum returned and lightly
kissed the wall.
--------------------------
Duck Pond Saves Skydiver
Napier, New Zealand (Reuter) - A 22-year-old novice skydiver escaped
with only a cut over the eye after his main and reserve parachutes
failed and he plunged 1,100 metres (3,600 feet) into a marshy duck pond.
Klint Freemantle, recounting the freak accident on Saturday on New
Zealand's north island, said his main parachute did not open and his
emergency chute tangled up. then he saw he might hit the pond, a metre
(40 inches) deep.
"I splashed down before I thought I would," he said. "the first thing
I did was stand up and say 'Yes!' then I reeled the chute in."
--------------------------
/ \__/ \__/ \__/ \__/ \ "Hey Rocky!
| _|@ @ __ | Watch me pull some intelligence
\________/ | | \________/ out of the internet!"
__/ _/ "But that trick never works."
/) (o _/ "This time for sure."
\____/ boba@gagme.wwa.com
--------------------------
Imagine what it would be like if George Washington had to go
through a Congressional Confirmation Hearing... We join our
correspondent at Independence Hall in Philadelphia for hearings
already in progress....
Congressman: General Washington, you are here today so we can
determine if you are in fact fit to lead this great nation.
Washington: Yes, sir, I realize that.
Congressman: Then lets get underway here. First of all, do you
still have any ties to the millitary of this country?
Washington: No, sir.
Congressman: Do you have a silver tea set General Washington?
Washington: Yes, I do.
Congressman: A tea set given to you by a Mr. Paul Revere of Boston,
one of your scouts during the Revolution, I believe?
Washington: Yes, sir, it was given to me on the aniversary of the
Battle of Lexington and Concord. That was quite a fight, we sure
had them on the run...
Congressman: I'm sure you did. But you admit to taking bribes from
former military personnel?
Washington: I would hardly call it a bribe, Mr. Revere and I are old
friends...
Congressman: And then there's the question of your loose moral standards sir.
Washington: I beg your pardon? I have been faithfully married to my
wife Martha for many years now.
Congressman: Oh, come now General. All the way from here to
Massachusetts there are signs at almost every inn and a good many
private homes saying "George Washington slept here" Are we really
supposed to believe that you travelled that much?
Washington: Well, sir, a general has to travel quite a bit when
fighting a war you know...
Congressman: An educated General, perhaps. But you sir never
attended an institution of higher learning at all, did you?
Washington: No, sir, it simply wasn't necessary in my job as a surveyor.
Congressman: But you think it is adequate for a job such as this?
Washington: Yes sir, I do. I believe I have learned a lot about
leadership in the course of my military career.
Congressman: Which started out with you serving our enemies the British?
Washington: Yes, sir, it did.
Congressman: Enough of this. This man is simply completely
unqualified. Please bring in that Arnold fellow. What's his name,
Benedict Arnold? Yes, now that has a ring of authority to it...
Just think what a great country this would have been...
--------------------------
From: [microsoft.com!dante]
(original author and forwards eaten in the night)
Did I tell you about Philip's latest statistic from hell? The average
person _eats_ 5-7 spiders a year in their sleep. Seems the hairy
darlings try to build webs across people's teeth whilst the unsuspecting
folks are sleeping with their mouths open. I have programmed myself to
never again sleep with my mouth open. Some statistics are better not
known. But I pass them on anyway (if I can't sleep, why should you?)
--------------------------
The Story of Margarine, by S. F. Riepma
(Public Affairs Press, Washington, 1970.)
Dr. Riepma's book explores the fascinating first century
of the story of margarine in a detailed, informative, and
interesting manner ... No food has a more impressive
history and few have been the subject of more legislative
enactments and court decisions.
--------------------------
From: [dante@microsoft.com]
FROM THE GUARDIAN WEEKLY, January 9 1994
David Rowan presents the Excessively Distorted Language Awards for 1993
'There is Usually a word for it'
Native Californian Political Correctness Award
RUNNER UP: Santa Cruz city council, which debated a motion to outlaw
"lookism", the practice of judging people by their looks, on the basis that
some faced discrimination because they were "cosmetically challenged".
WINNER: the Los angeles Times, which banned words such as 'crazy', 'holy
rollers', 'babe', 'queer' and 'ghetto'. This last decision caused some
problem for a Washington Post reporter, keen to discuss the film White
men Can't Jump but careful to retitle it 'There May Be Anthropological
Differences That Account For Variation in Personal Vertical Lift, Though
These Do Not of Course Imply the Kinetic Inferiority of One Ethnic Group
Vis-a-Vis Another.'
--------------------------
From: Chris Torek [torek@BSDI.COM]
I always thought that 'Intel Inside' was a warning required
by Truth in Advertising laws...
--------------------------
From: hitz@nova.netapp.com (Dave Hitz)
[In a discussion about computers-for-the-masses:]
Ten years ago or so, I had arguments Sensitive Art Types about whether
or not computers could even enter the art world. Now I have arguments
with Sensitive Art Types about whether OS/2 or NT would make a better
file server for their scanned image collection.
--------------------------
From: margo@das.harvard.edu
From: andy@pathfinder.cbr.com (Andrew Liu)
From: hm@star.rl.ac.uk (Huw Morris)
I'd like to share with you a little gem I heard on the radio last night.
It concerns a match played last weekend between Barbados and Grenada in
some cup competition. Barbados needed to win the game by two clear goals
in order to progress to the next round. Now the trouble was caused by
a daft rule in the competition which stated that in the event of a game
going to penalty kicks, the winner would be awarded a 2-0 victory. (Yes,
I'm sure you can all see what's coming....)
With 5 minutes to go, Barbados were leading 2-1, and going out of the
tournament. Then, when they realised they were probably not going to
score against Grenada's massed defence, they turned round, and
deliberately scored an own goal, to level the scores. Grenada,
themselves not being stupid, realised what was going on, and then
attempted to score an own goal themselves. However, the Barbados players
started defending their opponents goal to prevent this. In the last five
minutes, therefore, spectators were treated to the incredible sight of
a team defending their opponents goal against attackers desperately
trying to score an own goal!
Naturally, the game went to penalties, which Barbados won...
This story is completely true, I assure you. Apparently it was being
televised live, so I hope to see highlights of it soon!
--------------------------
In a high school junior varsity basketball game in Casper, Wyo., Natrona
had the ball out of bounds under the Kelly Walsh basket with 6 seconds
left and the score tied, 63-63. Just before the inbounds play, teammate
Jason Holt got down on his hands and knees in one corner of the court
and began barking. As the Kelly Walsh players turned to look at him ,
guard Dave Schacterie inbounded the ball to Mike Hobart for a
game-winning layup.
-- Tom Fitzgerald, "Top of the Sixth", SF Chronicle, Feb 3, 1994.
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