Lifec B

Date: Thu, 10 Nov 1994 06:49:29 -0800
From: cate3@netcom.com (Henry Cate)
Message-Id: [199411101449.GAA26077@netcom13.netcom.com]
To: JWry.dl@netcom.com
Subject: Life  C.B
Reply-to: cate3@netcom.com
Status: R

--------------- 
Date: 7 Feb 94 15:00:17 PST (Monday)
Subject: Life  C.B





Chuck Shepherd has a newspaper column called News of the Weird
The following selections are from the list: notw@nine.org   
To add yourself send a request to:  notw-request@nine.org

----------------------------------------------------

* In July, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration rescinded an
earlier decision it had made to fine a Boise, Idaho, plumbing company $8,000
for rules violations during a rescue of a construction worker in a collapsed
trench.  Originally, OSHA had cited the company because, among other things,
rescue workers had failed to go get their hard hats and put them on before
attempting the rescue. [News Release of U. S. Senator Dirk Kempthorne of
Idaho, 7-19-93]

* The Washington Post reported in August that there are 3,000 pet
therapists in the U. S., including 50 fully certified as animal
behaviorists, and that they charge fees ranging from $150 to $400 for
three-hour sessions.  Said one pet therapist, "There's a reason for
everything [animals] do."  Said a skeptical veterinarian, "The pets
aren't crazy.  The humans are crazy." [Washington Post, 8-15-93]

* Although no law forces them to open on Sundays, the 285 members of
the Arkansas Automobile Dealers Association voted 285-0 in March to
recommend that the legislature require them to be closed on Sundays.
[Arkansas Democrat Gazette, Mar93]

* Matthew Noble Palmer, 48, pleaded no contest to 24 burglary counts in
Alamogordo, N. Mex., in July, ending a rash of break-ins of isolated
mountain homes.  Several of Palmer's victims reported that guns had been
taken from their homes, thoroughly cleaned, and returned during later
break-ins. [Albuquerque Journal-AP, 7-24-93]

* Terry Allen, 34, was convicted of attempted burglary in San Antonio,
Tex., in October, after having been caught red-handed by police as he
was removing burglar bars from the window of a beauty salon.  He told
the judge he was guilty of simple theft but not of the more serious
crime of attempted burglary because he was not trying to break into the
beauty salon; he was merely trying to steal the burglar bars to take
home to put on his own windows to protect himself from burglars. [San
Antonio Express-News, 10-5-93]

* In a Redmond, Wash., courtroom in September, defendant Larry Michael
Key broke free and dashed out the door upon being sentenced to 60 days
in jail for violating previous drunken driving sentences, but Judge Will
O'Roarty leaped from the judge's bench in hot pursuit, his judicial robe
flapping behind him.  The judge pursued Key out of the building, down
the street, and into a supermarket, where a clerk and police captured
him.  After bringing Key back to the courtroom, Judge O'Roarty tacked
on nine more months.  [Eugene Register-Guard-AP, 9-23-93]

* The Cleveland Plain Dealer reported in October that the mummified
remains of an Australian Aborigine who died in 1884 would soon be sent
home.  The body had been forgotten--stored in the basement of a
Cleveland funeral home, which closed in August.  The man, Tambo Tambo,
came to Cleveland to appear in a show, throwing boomerangs, but died of
pneumonia, and none of his colleagues claimed the body. [Cleveland Plain
Dealer, 10-23-93]

* In October in Lexington, N. C., Efram George Colson, 23, allegedly
stole a bag of cigarettes from a store and ran away.  His escape route
led him onto Lexington Senior High School grounds, where the football
team was practicing.  He was tackled by about 30 players and held for
police.  And in Manchester, N. H., in September, a purse-snatcher
grabbed a purse just as a girls' high school cross-country team out for
a training run happened by.  They chased the thief until he got scared
and dropped the purse. [AP wirecopy, 10- 7-93; Greensboro News-Observer,
Sept93]

* In Baton Rouge, La., in October, Larry McKee, 42, was arrested and
charged with robbing a convenience store.  The robbery started in the
back room, and the robber thus wasn't aware that a camera crew from
WBRZ-TV was taping a feature on crime in the front of the store.  The
tape clearly shows the robber running through the store and out the
front door. [Baton Rouge Morning Advocate, 10-7-93]

* In October, Milwaukee police, at a robbery scene in which two young
men in ski masks had held up a video store, questioned two young men
who were sitting at a nearby bus stop and who had ski masks in their
pockets.  They admitted that they had been on their way to rob the video
store but said that when they arrived, two other men in ski masks were
already robbing it.  Police concluded they were telling the truth
because their ski masks were different than the actual robbers' ski
masks.  Police said the men might not have known that the penalty for
"conspiracy to commit robbery" is almost as much as the penalty for
robbery. [Milwaukee Journal, Oct93]

* When an Air Force practice bomb fell out of the sky and nearly hit
him, Darrell Jones, 41, of Columbia, S. C., became a local news
celebrity.  Jones owes his ex-wife more than $26,000 in overdue child
support, and she had not known his whereabouts until his face popped up
on television and in newspapers. [Charlotte Observer, 10-22-93]

* Edilber Guimaraes, 19, was arrested in Belo
Horizonte, Brazil, in November for attempted theft at a
glue factory.  According to police, as Guimaraes
stopped to sniff some of the glue he was stealing, he
knocked over two large cans, spilling their contents. 
When police arrived at the factory, Guimaraes was
sitting immobile, glued to the floor. [San Francisco
Examiner-AP, Nov93] 

* In February, in Columbia, S. C., a bullet was fired
through the office window of county Treasurer Marjorie
Sharpe amidst growing displeasure at delays in her
office's tax-appeal hearings.  Sharpe told reporters,
"Don't [the vandals] realize it's going to make their
tax bills [even] higher when we have to replace these
windows?" [The Columbia, S. C., State, 2-10-93] 

* In March, Medford, Pa., police charged James G.
Avallone with several DUI-related offenses.  Avallone
allegedly smashed into a tree and a lamppost, then
dutifully drove to the Medford police station to report
the accidents.  However, he had no driver's license or
registration and refused to take a blood-alcohol test.
[Philadelphia Inquirer, 3-14-93] 

* On October 29, two men approached a teller at the
Harbor Bank in Baltimore with a note reading "I have a
gun.  Gimme me [sic] your money or else."  According to
a witness, the teller looked at the note, which was
written on the back of a deposit slip for another bank,
and replied, "This is a Maryland National [Bank]
transaction--you have to go to Maryland National."  The
men looked at each other, panicked, and ran off.
[Baltimore Sun, 10-30-93] 

* In Bay Minette, Ala., Raymond Giadrosich, 39, on
trial in September for killing his wife and mother-in-
law near the end of a stormy divorce proceeding, was
convicted on one count.  Although Giadrosich shot his
wife, and then, 10 seconds later, the mother, the jury
found him not guilty by reason of insanity for the
first killing but sane and guilty for the second.
[Tuscaloosa News-AP, 9-27-93] 

* In Miami, Fla., in September, police stopped a man
for speeding and found $4,440 stuffed into one of his
socks.  A records check revealed that the man, named
Promise, Marion Promise [ED. NOTE: comma is part of his
name], owed more than that in child support, and the
judge ordered the $4,400 turned over to the child's
mother. [Miami Herald, 9-16-93] 

* The New York Times reported in October on the trend
by Chinese people in Hong Kong to give their children
Western names.  Among the Chinese-surnamed people
mentioned were those with first names of Cinderella,
Onion, Creamy, Jackal, Civic, Scholastica, Egmont, and
Open.  A woman named Neon Chang said that some Chinese
complained about her name--not because it was too
Western but because they thought Neon is a boy's name.
[New York Times, 10-28, 1993] 

* Former Oklahoma Rep. Kenneth Converse testified in
July that he had witnessed Gov. David Walters, when
Walters was a candidate for governor in 1990, promise a
state job to someone in exchange for a $5,000
contribution.  Converse said he told the grand jury
that what Walters did was "highly unethical.  Usually
you have someone else to do it [for you]." [Daily
Oklahoman, 7-28-93] 

* In June, Michael Norton, 37, was arrested shortly
after he allegedly stole two video cameras from a
Citibank in Brooklyn, N. Y.  Norton's picture was
available at the crime scene because he had jumped up
on a counter to unscrew the cameras from the wall and
in the process presented his face to the cameras.  (He
apparently assumed that the camera was a self-contained
unit, but the unit he unscrewed contained only the
lens; the recording unit was in another part of the
building.)  [New York Daily News, 6-18-93] 

* The Aspen (Colo.) City Council and local county
commissioners admitted in November that the county
requirement that housing be available in all income
ranges was not being met.  Housing is available for the
rich and the poor, but not much exists for those with
incomes around $100,000 a year. [Rocky Mountain News-
AP, 11-14-93] 

* In June, Michael Boland, 45, founder of the
Commonwealth School of Law in Lowell, Mass., was
convicted of arson for a 1989 incident in which he
ordered his bodyguard to set fire to the library in the
rival Massachusetts School of Law in Andover.
[Chillicothe (Mo.) Constitution-Tribune-AP, 6-18-93] 

* Two gunmen who robbed a branch of the San Diego Trust
& Savings Bank in San Diego, Calif., in November were
caught when an elderly motorist rammed the robbers'
getaway car.  Police had photographs of the robbers,
anyway, because they had donned their ski masks outside
the bank right in front of the ATM camera. [Los Angeles
Times, 11-30-93] 

* In November, the city of Bombay, India, on a cleanup
campaign, announced it had 70 job openings for rat
catchers; it received 40,000 applications--half from
college graduates. [Globe & Mail, 11-23-93] 

* In November, the Grand Canyon claimed its seventh
death-by-fall victim of the year.  At least two people
toppled over backward as they tried to position
themselves to accommodate family photographers.  Said
the director of a local outdoors group, "A lot of
tourists approach the Grand Canyon like a ride at
Disneyland . . . and think it's idiot-proof.  The Grand
Canyon wasn't build by attorneys and engineers." [USA
Today, 12-1-93; St. Petersburg Times-AP, 12-2-93;
Monroe (La.) News-Star, 11-11-93; High County News, 11-
15-93] 

* In August, the Maine Supreme Court finally rejected
the appeal of Douglas Merrill, who had sought damages
from the Central Maine Power Company after he was badly
burned in a 1976 incident.  He was trying to cook an
eel using a live electrical line at a Maine Power
substation. [USA Today, 8-3-93] 

* In Kennett, Mo., in August, Larry White pleaded
guilty to burglary just before trial and was sentenced
to six years in prison.  He was caught because, in
trying to eliminate the possibility of a shoe print
when he kicked open a door, he removed his shoe. 
However, he left a clear, identifiable footprint, which
is more useful to detectives, anyway. [Kennett Daily
Dunlkin Democrat, 9-1-93] 

* In November, a jury in Columbia, Mo., convicted Elmer
Tatum, 35, of robbery, based in part on the disguise he
used.  A witness said the robber wore a large black
garbage bag over his body with only one hole cut out,
for his right arm.  Elmer Tatum's left arm had long ago
been amputated. [Columbia Missourian, 11-19-93] 

* In December, Dominique Gosbout, of Abitibi, Quebec,
petitioned the legislature to restore one provision of
the province's old Civil Code that was changed in the
new 1992 Code.  Article 441 now lists the only 
obligations of married persons as "respect, fidelity,
care, and help."  For the first time in 200 years,
"love" is no longer required, and Gosbout wants it
back. [Sault Star-CP, 12-3-93] 

* Vicki Jo Daily, 36, filed a lawsuit in July in
Jackson, Wy., against the widow of the man she collided
with and killed in a February accident.  The 56-year-
old victim's snowmobile had suddenly cut in front of
Daily's pickup truck, and he died at the scene.  Police
said Daily was free of blame, and she now wants money
from the widow for the "grave and crippling
psychological injuries" she suffered by watching the
man die. [Jackson Hole News, 7-21-93] 

* In December, a New York appeals court rejected Edna
Hobbs's lawsuit against the company that makes the
device called The Clapper.  Hobbs claimed she hurt her
hands because she had to clap too hard in order to turn
her appliances on:  "I couldn't peel potatoes [when my
hands hurt].  I never ate so many baked potatoes in my
life.  I was in pain."  However, the judge said Hobbs
had merely failed to adjust the sensitivity controls.
[Troy Record-AP, Dec93] 

* In December, a judge in Martinez, Calif., dismissed
the lawsuit filed by Mike and Jo Ann Hansen on behalf
of their son, who complained that math teacher Eric
Henze gave him a C for the course despite his having
earned an A on the final exam. [San Jose Mercury News-
AP, 12-12-93] 

* In September 1992, homeless couple Darryl Washington
and Maria Ramos were injured when a train plowed into
them as they were having sex on a mattress on the
tracks at a New York City subway station.  Injuries
were not severe, thanks to a quick-acting motorman. 
Nonetheless, according to a December 1993 story in the
New York Daily News, the couple has filed a lawsuit
against the Transit Authority for "carelessness,
recklessness, and negligence."  Said the couple's
attorney, "Homeless people are allowed to have sex,
too." [New York Daily News, 12-21-93] 

* In November, a court in Vancouver, British Columbia,
awarded David Mattatall $632 in medical costs and other
expenses stemming from a car "accident" in 1991. 
Mattatall had sued his mother for closing her car door
on the paw of Mattatall's cat Daisy, and the loss means
that Mattatall's mother will lose her 40% safe-driving
discount.  Daisy will not benefit from the money, since
she was subsequently run over by another car. [Sault
Star-CP, 11-17-93] 

* Ernesto Mota, 32, who suffered brain damage when he
swallowed the contents of a bag of cocaine in a police
station so that it could not be used against him as
evidence, filed a $7 million lawsuit against the city
of Oak Forest, Ill., recently.  Mota claims the police
should have stopped him, or failing that, should have
called medics more quickly. [Chicago Tribune, 12-8-93] 

* Mansfield, Ohio, inmates Paul B. Goist, 27, and Craig
A. Anthony, 28, filed a lawsuit in December against
General Foods, alleging that the company failed to give
notice to them that Maxwell House coffee is addictive. 
The seek $20,000 as compensation for the headaches and
insomnia they are suffering while in prison. [Athens
Messenger-AP, Dec93] 

* An official of the Louisiana Lottery told the Baton
Rouge Morning Advocate in December that the most inept
case of attempted lottery fraud he has seen involved a
man, his daughter, and her boyfriend.  Each had a
"winning" Lotto ticket that had obviously been taped
together using parts of other tickets.  A lottery
official tried to discourage the three from pressing
their claim, informing them of the penalties for
lottery fraud.  The father and daughter immediately
abandoned the scheme, but the boyfriend stuck to his
story and was eventually convicted and imprisoned.
[Baton Rouge Morning Advocate, 12-15-93] 


----------------------------------------------------

Copyright 1993, Universal Press Syndicate.  All rights
reserved.  Released for the personal use of readers. 
No commercial use may be made of the material or of the
name News of the Weird.
Back to my Life Humor Page
Back to my humor page
Back to my home page
nathan@visi.com