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Subject: Life c.p
To: jwry.dli@netcom.com
From: "cate3@netcom.com" [Henry Cate III@netcom.com]
Reply-to: cate3@netcom.com
Status: R
---------------------------------------
Date: 30 Mar 94 16:57:58 PST (Wednesday)
Subject: Life C.P
The following are selections from the "Quote of the Day" mailing list
To get on send your request to: qotd-request@ensu.ucalgary.ca
Quotes can be submitted to: qotd@ensu.ucalgary.ca
----------------------------------------------------
"As the literacy rate declines in this country, more and more people are
writing books. Are we approaching the moment where more people will
write books than will be able to read them?"
- writer David Halberstam
--------------------------
"And now it is a giant with bestial strength and the mind of a child."
- Greek Deputy Foreign Minister Theodoros Pangalos, describing the
new German nation that resulted from unification
--------------------------
"'Married with Children' may be garbage in English, but dubbed into
German it's brilliant."
- Berlin-dwelling Canadian artist Attila Richard Lukacs on his
all-night TV habits
--------------------------
"He's amazing, the things he can do. It's like he's a method actor.
I had one scene where I had to scold him and tell him to get off
the couch. And for the whole week he was distant and cold. I
couldn't understand it. Later I figured out he was using that
anger for the scene. I really respect that."
- actress Jane Leeves of the sitcom Frasier, on her terrier co-star
Moose, who plays pet dog Eddie on the show
--------------------------
"Virtual reality will give rise, for example, to Virtual Stooge,
where you can call up any episode of The Three Stooges and become
the Fourth Stooge - actually experiencing the sensation of being
whacked on the head with a plank by Curly. (This will be a hit
primarily with men)."
- Diane English's prediction for the year 2053. English is one of
the creators of the sitcom Murphy Brown
--------------------------
"My fire was smoking yesterday afternoon at dusk, as I sat
reading the precis of a M.A. thesis. My nerves would have
been quieter had I been reading a ghost story; thesis abstracts
are, with very few exceptions, the least credible and most
horrifying productions of imaginative literature."
- Robertson Davies, _High Spirits_
--------------------------
Picture of (4) little kids looking up the chimney, past their christmas
stockings.
Child 1: "Santa's coming."
Child 2: "Santa's coming."
Child 3: Just looking up the chimney.
Child 4: (Looks to be the youngest of them all) "Even if reindeer could
create the necessary velocity to propel a 300 pound man over 240 million
houses in one evening, everyone knows the heat generated by the atmospheric
friction would immediately vaporize his molecules."
The ad continues to say "There comes that rite of passage of every
childhood - the realization that Santa Claus violates the principal rules
of physics and aerospace engineering."
Family Fun (Ad for Knowledge Adventure Software) - Sept/January 1994
Submitted by: JP LaFond [jpl@Think.COM] (Dec. 6, 1993)
--------------------------
"To be happy at home is the ultimate end of all ambition."
- Samuel Johnson
--------------------------
"In a university environment, brainstorming sessions
can often become a mere drizzle."
Prof. Carlos A. Paz de Araujo
University of Colorado
--------------------------
"There is enough for all in this world but not enough to meet one
man's greed."
- Mahatma Gandhi
--------------------------
A Russian tourist agent, asked to provide an American visitor to Russia
with a wild bear hunt, bought the bear from a circus and released it in
Moscow's Perdelkino Forest. The newspaper Vecernaya Moskva reported that as
the hunter closed in on the prey, a postal carrier passed by on bicycle,
saw the bear and tumbled off in surprise. The trained bear climbed on the
bike and pedalled off, leaving the American to sue for fraud.
- found in Terminal City, a Vancouver music scene rag
Submitted by: narwal!harv@wimsey.com (Dec. 19, 1993)
--------------------------
"All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater
things."
- Bobby Knight, Indiana Univ. basketball coach (as part of his ongoing
love affair with "the media")
Submitted by: dlwoodbe@mtu.edu (Dean Woodbeck) (Dec. 20, 1993)
--------------------------
"I won't tour - but mind you, I said that in '89, and they said, `But,
Pete, you'll make $70 million.' I said, `I'll tour.' So I don't want
to be too obdurate. We'll see what happens."
- rock musician Pete Townshend, on the possibility of yet another Who
reunion in 1994
Submitted by: terry (Terry Labach) (Dec. 20, 1993)
--------------------------
"Tom Cruise single-handedly breathes life back into that long-dead
genre, Elvis Presley movies."
- Edward Margulies and Stephen Rebello in _Bad Movies We Love_ on
Cruise's performance in _Cocktail_
Submitted by: terry (Terry Labach) (Dec. 6, 1993)
--------------------------
"Besides a mathematical inclination, an exceptionally good mastery of
one's native tongue is the most vital asset of a competent programmer."
- E. W. Dijkstra, on desirable, if illusory, traits of computer
programmers
Submitted by: terry (Terry Labach) (Dec. 22, 1993)
--------------------------
"Well, no, I don't. What is the matter with you?"
- David Letterman, when asked in a Playboy interview whether he wanted
to talk about his sex life.
Submitted by: terry (Terry Labach) (Dec. 23, 1993)
--------------------------
"When we go to Disneyland, Mickey's there."
- California tourist Ed Laird, complaining he never saw Queen
Elizabeth or Prince Philip after paying $12 on the opening of
Buckingham Palace to the public.
Submitted by: Keith J. Van Dierendonck [kjvandie@acs.ucalgary.ca] (Dec. 29, 1993)
--------------------------
More from the "Less Great Art; More Nice People" department -
William Faulkner's daughter Jill bitterly recalls trying to stop the
great writer/tiresome drunk from proceeding on one of his jags:
"It was just before my birthday and I knew that Pappy was getting
ready to start on one of these boots. I went to him - the only time
I ever did - and said, 'Please don't start drinking.' And he was
already well on his way, and he turned to me and said, 'You
know, no one remembers Shakespeare's child.'"
Submitted by: thorntn@CC.UManitoba.CA (Jan. 3, 1994)
--------------------------
"I couldn't win at home, and I couldn't win on the road. My failure as
a coach was that I couldn't think of anywhere else to play."
- Former Vancouver Canucks coach and broadcaster Harry Neale
Submitted by: cdash@ludell.uccs.edu (Charlie Shub) (Jan. 5, 1994)
--------------------------
During a game last year, Shawn Van Allen, then with the Edmonton Oilers, was
involved in a collision and was dazed by the hit. After examining him,
the trainer returned to the bench and told head coach Ted Green that
Van Allen didn't know who he was. Green then said,
"Good, tell him he's Wayne Gretzky".
Submitted by: cdash@ludell.uccs.edu (Charlie Shub) (Jan. 5, 1994)
--------------------------
"She is smart. She's been a top model for five years - that takes a lot
of intelligence."
- magician David Copperfield bends the Mensa rules for his girlfriend,
model Claudia Schiffer
Submitted by: terry (Terry Labach) (Jan. 11, 1994)
--------------------------
The Feynman problem solving algorithm
1) Write down the problem
2) Think real hard
3) Write down the answer
- Murray Gell-mann in the New York Times
Submitted by: terry (Terry Labach) (Jan. 11, 1994)
--------------------------
[wrt Mitch Kabor and the Electronic Frontier Foundation]
"The foundation promotes the hope of cheap, easy
and equal access to a data highway constructed
along the lines of the Internet, the impromptu net-
work of 1.3 million computers in 40 countries that
allows roughly 30 million people to talk to one
another, read E-mail, post messages, download texts
(from the Library of Congress as well as from most
university libraries), play chess, conduct symposia,
organize political rallies, tell jokes -- all with-
out having to pay tolls, receive authorization, sub-
mit a financial statement, or prove that they don't
smoke."
Lewis Latham writing in the January 1994 issue of Harper's Magazine
Submitted by: rissa@prudence.fof.org (Patricia O Tuama) (Jan. 12, 1994)
--------------------------
Do the best you can for your neighbor. Never forget from where you come.
And see if you can improve the lot of your fellow man.
---The late Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill
Former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, who died
this week
--------------------------
"Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million
typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare."
-- Blair Houghton
Submitted by: cdash@ludell.uccs.edu (Charlie Shub) (Jan. 18, 1994)
--------------------------
"A Canadian is just an unarmed American with health insurance."
- comic John Wing Jr.
Submitted by: terry (Terry Labach) (Jan. 18, 1994)
--------------------------
January 16 is National Nothing Day, so named
by California newspaperman Harold Pullman in 1973 "to
provide Americans with one national day when they can
just sit without celebrating, observing, or honoring
anything."
Coffin, who died in 1981, picked January 16
because it was the only observance-free day he could
find. No longer. National Nothing Day now shares the
calendar with Religious Freedom Day and World Religion
Day, as well as the start of Worldwide Kiwanis Week
and International Printing Week.
-- Rick Greenberg
16Jan94 WASHINGTON POST MAGAZINE
Submitted by: swami!andy@rmnug.org
Jan. 19, 1994
--------------------------
Texas governor Ann Richards, upon learning that Jose Canseco had been traded
from the Oakland A's to the Texas Rangers: "Now that Jose is in Texas I'll be
expecting him to hit 60 home runs... and drive 55."
Submitted by: Dave Hendrickson [hendrick@hpanlv.an.hp.com]
--------------------------
Alternate quotations:
"We're kind of like an information superhighway without the information."
OR
"It's just like the information superhighway - without the information"
- from a commercial promo for David Letterman's talk show...
Submitted by: Dave Hendrickson [hendrick@hpanlv.an.hp.com]
Patrick Goegan [patman@hpb.hwc.ca]
--------------------------
"When I first started working, I used to dream of the day when
I might be earning the salary I'm starving on now."
- from _Humorous Quotes from the Business World_ Successories, Inc.
Submitted by: "Darin S. Lory" [p00403@psilink.com]
--------------------------
"In long intervals I have expressed an opinion on public issues
whenever they appeared to be so bad and unfortunate that
silence would have made me feel guilty of complicity."
- Albert Einstein
Submitted by: cdash@ludell.uccs.edu (Charlie Shub)
--------------------------
"Though the boys throw stones at frogs in sport, yet the frogs
do not die in sport but in earnest."
- Plutarch
Submitted by: Reginald_Aubry.LOTUS@CRD.lotus.com
--------------------------
"Son, all the beautiful, intelligent, healthy young
women are taken. It's a basic law of the universe, and
if you don't like it, go somewhere else."
Ken Johnson's (krj@festival.ed.ac.uk) dad, 1906-1992
Submitted by: cdash@ludell.uccs.edu (Charlie Shub)
--------------------------
Men of genius do not excel in any profession because they labour in it,
but they labour in it because they excel.
-- William Hazlitt, "Characteristics"
Submitted by: brennan@hal.com (Dave Brennan)
--------------------------
Today's quote is from Robert Fulford, writing in the
_Globe and Mail_:
At some point around 1900 the idea took hold that optimism
is shallow and a dark view of humanity is certain to be
more profound than a sunny one. In earlier times, great
artists from Shakespeare to Dickens could be important as
either comedians or tragedians. But this century has
decided that bitterness and despair are significant while
affirmation and joy are banal.
- Duncan
Submitted by: thorntn@CC.UManitoba.CA
--------------------------
"I'm going to Euro-Disney."
- Buffalo Bills quarterback Jim Kelly,
on his post-Super Bowl plans
Submitted by: sbs@frame.com (Steven Sargent)
--------------------------
"The weak and cowardly have no place in shuffleboard."
-Phil Hartman, playing Lt. Worf, on a Saturday Night Live skit poking fun at both Star Trek
and Love Boat entitled "Love Boat: The Next Generation"
Submitted by: urton@s5.math.umn.edu
--------------------------
Before Rebbe Zusia died, he said: "When I shall face the celestial
tribunal, I shall not be asked why I was not Abraham, Jacob, or
Moses. I shall be asked why I was not Zusia."
Elie Wiesel, SOULS ON FIRE
Submitted by: cobrien@craft.camp.clarkson.edu (CHARLES F. O'BRIEN)
--------------------------
"The mission of a university, where the ideal is Socrates conducting an
argument with all manner of speech needed to whatever end it leads, has
been replaced with an amalgam of Alan Alda and Phil Donahue creating a
non-offensive environment."
-- Michael McDonald, lawyer, Center for Individual Rights
(p.A18, The Chronicle of Higher Education, March 16, 1994.
Fighting Back - Professors accused of sexual harassment say
their rights have been breached.)
Submitted by: jean [GMEJ5184@BCIT.BC.CA]
--------------------------
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