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Date: Tue, 31 Jan 1995 08:02:45 -0800
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Subject: Life C.R
To: jwry.dli@netcom.com
From: "cate3@netcom.com" [Henry_Cate_III@netcom.com]
Reply-to: cate3@netcom.com
Status: R
---------------------------------------
Date: 30 Mar 94 17:00:25 PST (Wednesday)
Subject: Life C.R
The following are selections from Fun_People, a mailing list run by:
Peter Langston [pud!psl@bellcore.bellcore.com]
----------------------------------------------------
From: Rich Lague [laguer@ucs.orst.edu]
"A Sign of the Tomes: Libraries Hunt Thieves [Lawyers]" from the
Washington Post (Washington Business), 31 January, describes the
types of books lawyers steal from libraries. At the top of the
list are ethics opinions.
--------------------------
[So here's what happens when you only let women into the home ec classes
and only let men into the shop classes... -psl]
[forwards stomped [I don't know why, honest! -psl]]
My contact at a large company that makes PCs told me this story of
hardware support:
A woman called and couldn't get her computer to turn on. He first
determined that it was plugged in. Then she mentioned that it won't
turn on no matter how hard she presses the little white footpedal that
came with the computer...
...the little white footpedal that has "Microsoft" written on it.
--------------------------
From: Nat Howard [nrh@uunet.uu.net]
From: Bill Innanen [wgi@APLCOMM.JHUAPL.EDU]
US Standard Railroad Gauge
or
How MilSpecs Live Forever
-----
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 ft 8 1/2
in (1.44 m). That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why is that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England,
and the US railroads were built by English ex patriots.
Why did the English build 'em like that? Because the first rail lines were
built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's
the gauge they used.
Why did *they* use that gauge then? Because the people who built the
tramways used the same jigs and tools as they used for building wagons,
which used that wheel spacing.
OK! Why did the wagons use that wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use
any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance
roads, because that's the spacing of the ruts.
So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in
Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The
roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts? The initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear
of breaking their wagons, were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the
chariots were made by or for Imperial Rome they were all alike in the
matter of wheel spacing (ruts again).
Thus we have the answer to the original question.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 ft 8 1/2 in derives from the
original military specification (MilSpec) for an Imperial Roman army war
chariot. MisSpecs (and bureaucracies) live forever!
--------------------------
From: tooch@auspex.com (Mike Tuciarone)
Subj: Re: How MilSpecs Live Forever
Fascinating. I showed this to my wife, medieval studies major and
horsewoman, who points out that the spacing of wheels on the Roman
chariot was like as not dictated by the width of the yoke that attached
the chariot to the horse, and the need to keep the wheel ruts well out
of the path of the loose earth the hooves are kicking up.
Thus, the gauge of the Iron Horse might be in fact derived from the
width of the standard Roman warhorse.
--------------------------
From: claude@espresso.rt.cs.boeing.com (Claude Ginsburg)
Subject: Rail Gauge (continued)
...when Napoleon marched on Russia, his army made much slower time than
planned once they reached eastern Europe because the ruts weren't to
Roman gauge. Because they made slower time than planned ...
they got caught in the field in the Russian winter rather than on the
outskirts of Moscow. And then, of course, they lost the war.
--------------------------
Forwarded-by: Marie Eaton [eaton@henson.cc.wwu.edu]
From: Gannett News Service
SPACE ALIENS LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC
March 7, 1993
(Printed in the Bellingham Herald and probably many more Gannett papers.)
"In an incredible 68 percent of cases where UFO sightings are actually
reported, country music has been playing at either a concert or in a
so-called honky-tonk joint within 14 miles," UFO expert Zachary Simms is
quoted as saying in the March 15 issue of Weekly World News.
"The music of Hank Williams, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, and Loretta
Lynn seem to be particularly common to the sightings."
The study included sightings in the United States, Peru, Australia,
and Africa.
--------------------------
Forwarded-by: Martin Jara [Martin_Jara@macmail2.lbl.gov]
Here's one for you from the Newsquirks column of the Sonoma County
Independent (formerly The Paper):
"Shopkeeper Khalid Mosood, 27, wrote more than 700 letters proposing marriage
to his girlfriend in Galle, Sri Lanka. She refused him and married the
letter carrier."
Ah, if only poor Khalid had used email.
[Then she would have married her modem? Or maybe her telephone repairperson?
-psl]
--------------------------
Forwarded-by: Martin Jara [Martin_Jara@macmail2.lbl.gov]
More from Newsquirks:
One pen beats another. In Baton Rouge, Louisiana, District Judge Mike Erwin
sentenced an admitted shoplifter to write 10,000 times: "I will not steal other
people's property." After another woman pleaded guilty to being an accessory
after the fact to a burglary, he ordered her to write 10,000 times: "I will not
do anything stupid again." "I just figure it may sink in," Erwin explained,
"and it can't hurt them anyway."
--------------------------
From: Steven Cantor [STEVEN@dynasty.cc.pdx.edu]
q: why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
a: to get away from the noise.....
--------------------------
Trust Congress? Not With This Unbelieveable Lair of Slop
PC Computing, April 1994, page 88.
By John C. Dvorak
When Vice President Gore began talking about the Information Highway, we
all knew the bureaucrats would get involved more than we might like. In
fact, it may already be too late to stop a horrible Senate bill from
becoming law.
The moniker -- Information Highway -- itself seems to be responsible for SB
#040194. Introduced by Senator Patrick Leahy, it's designed to prohibit
anyone from using a public computer network (Information Highway) while the
computer user is intoxicated. I know how silly this sounds, but Congress
apparently thinks that being drunk on a highway is bad no matter what kind
of highway it is. The bill is expected to pass this month.
......
I could go on and on with quotes and complaints from people regarding this
bill. But most of the complaints are getting nowhere. Pressure groups, such
as one led by Baptist ministers from De Kalb County, Georgia, are supporting
the law with such vehemence that they've managed to derail an effort by
modem manufacturers (the biggest being Georgia-based Hayes) to lobby against
the law. "Who wants to come out and support drunkenness and computer sex?"
asked a congressman who requested anonymity.
So, except for Bernstein, Bernstein, and Knowles, and a few members of the
ACLU, there is nothing to stop this bill from becoming law. You can register
your protests with your congressperson or Ms. Lirpa Sloof in the Senate
Legislative Analysts Office. Her name spelled backward says it all.
--------------------------
Forwarded-by: CONAWAY_PAUL/HPD700_01@hpflash.rose.hp.com
YOU ARE A REDNECK IF...
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the
Governor to spare a loved one.
You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look
nice.
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
Hitchhikers won't get in the car with you.
You call your boss "dude".
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
You've ever been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
--------------------------
From: v140pxgt@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case)
Subject: Heart Stopping Experiment
It turns out that Spy magazine isn't dead yet, and in the March issue
they have a sidebar to an article about people who volunteer for drug trials
that sounds like a classic example of a UL that I'm sharing with our friends
on sci.med and sci.research so they can shed some light on the voracity or
lack thereof of this one. (alt.folklore.science, too, now that I think
about it)
From the March 1994 issue of Spy, p. 19
To pass the uneventful days in drab medical-testing centers, professional
volunteers turn to the television-usually watching five movies a day on
video-and the great American tradition of storytelling. "All the guys on a
medical study are world-class experts on two subjects, video rentals and
medical studies," says drug-trial veteran David B. The favorite study to
discuss in the labs, he says, is the dreaded heart-stopping experiment.
David first heard about it on a drug trial in Wisconsin. "You make
$10,000 for one day's work," he explains, "but they stop your heart for
three minutes. Then they revive you and pay you." He says he was told about
the study again years later in a New Jersey test center. "In both places,
people referred to the study as taking place 'out in Colorado,'" he says.
Arnie Brown, who has done eight studies in Charlottesville, Virginia,
has heard about the study. "It's the ultimate experiment," he says, "but
it's not in Colorado. It's in Baltimore. They kill you, bring you back and
pay you $9,000."
Recruiter Carol Dean of Health and Sciences Research says, "I used to
hear that the heart-stopper paid $5,000. Now the volunteers tell me it's up
to $25,000." She says that people regualrly approach her about how and where
to apply. "I tell them that the study doesn't exist," Dean says, "but that
doesn't stop the rumors."
The rumors also include a $1,100 experiment that requires only a tattoo
on the sole of your foot and a signed promise to donate your corpse to the
test center. "You have to go to White Plains, New York, for it," Brown
explains, "but you get a free tattoo, which is cool because tattoos are
expensive."
Norma LaVelle, a recruiter at Hofmann-La Roche (makers of Valium) in
Newark, New Jersey, says, "I've heard about one study where they cut off
your toe in exchange for some phenomenal amount of money." She says no one
is ever clear about where that test occurs. "The volunteers who swear it
exists just say 'out west' or 'down south'"
Anybody know where these stories might have come from?
--------------------------
[Somehow I always seem to miss the point of news articles and get interested in
some trivial tangent. For instance, reading this article (and ignoring the
telling misspelling of yo-de-lay-hee-hoo) my real interest becomes whether the
word that begins the sixth paragraph represents a careless or carefree choice.
-psl]
Forwarded-by: John Lupton [jlupton@SAS.UPENN.EDU]
[excerpted from the _Daily Pennsylvanian_, the student newspaper of the
University of Pennsylvania, Tues Mar 29 1994]
CONTEST GIVES STUDENT YODELLERS AN OPEN FORUM
by Jorie Green, Staff Writer
Students who have always longed to "yo-a-lay-hee-hoo" like the Swiss
Miss Hot Chocolate girl now have their chance.
The "Alpine Mint Total Yodel Contest" is being held for yodellers
nationwide as a promotion for the new Carefree Sugarless Gum flavor
"Alpine Mint".
The Nabisco Foods Group, producer of Carefree Sugarless Gum, is
offering a week-long trip for two to Switzerland to the best yodeller in
the country, Nabisco spokesperson Lisa Morgan said yesterday.
A yodelling hotline, 1-800-94-ALPINE, has been set up to record the
yodels.
Morgan said she thinks University students will be interested in the contest
because "college students really get into that sort of thing." She was
unable to say, however, if college students who have long blond braids
or hail from the Ozarks will fare better in the contest than their urban
yodelling counterparts. Morgan added that the last Nabisco-sponsored
contest, a "moo-off", was not even won by a college student. "Some
person from Baltimore" did the best bovine imitation, she explained.
Careless Sugarfree Gum Senior Product Manager Hunter MacFarlane said
in a press release that callers "should yodel like they've never yodeled
before and feel free to add humor to their yodels." He also suggested
that contestants "use any musical format to give a contemporary twist to
their entries." Punk Rock, Merengue, Progressive, Big Band and Calypso
are some of the suggested musical styles.
Judging the contest is RCA Records talent scout Josh Sarubin, who said
he is looking for "creativity and wackiness." He said he expects the best
yodels to come from "people from the middle of nowhere with too much
time on their hands." Sarubin added that he might use some of the
yodels as background music in upcoming record releases.
College senior Sean McGrath said that although he likes to "yell and
scream pretty loudly," he has never yodelled "professionally". He does
not think he will enter the Total Yodel Contest though.
--------------------------
Forwarded-by: elshaw@MIT.EDU (Libby Shaw)
Forwarded-by: Brian E. Bradley [beb@media.mit.edu]
Here's a real good patent trivia question. Who was the first person in
history to receive a technical invention patent, and for what invention? An
article on patenting in the computer era appears in the Fall 1993 issue of
the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston "Regional Review" (the article itself is
quite good, and the issue can be obtained by calling 617-973-3397). To quote:
"Filippo Brunelleschi, the architect of Florence's remarkable
cathedral, won the world's first patent for a technical
invention in 1421. Brunelleschi was a classic man of the
Renaissance: tough-minded, multi-talented and thoroughly
self-confident. He claimed he had invented a new means of
conveying goods up the Arno River (he was intentionally vague
on details), which he refused to develop unless the state kept
others from copying his design. Florence complied, and
Brunelleschi walked away with the right to exclude all new
means of transport on the Arno for three years.
That Florence acceded to Brunelleschi's demands is hardly
surprising. The Italian Renaissance city-states, locked in a
struggle for wealth and power, habitually gave monopolies to
those who would build a needed bridge or mill, or who introduced
some useful craft or industry. They would issue "letter patents"
public declarations that openly (patently) announced the
privilege. What distinguished Brunelleschi's bargain was
invention - he was awarded the exclusive use of his own creation.
(more on Brunelleschi can be found in "Brunelleschi's Patent", Journal of
the Patent Office Society 28 (1946), page 109.
Greg Aharonian
Internet Patent News Service
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