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Date: Thu, 14 Sep 1995 13:00:34 -0700
Message-Id: [199509142000.NAA09813@netcom21.netcom.com]
Subject: Life E.S
To: jwry.dli@netcom.com
Reply-to: cate3@netcom.com
Status: R
Date: 16 Aug 94 11:17:46 PDT (Tuesday)
Subject: Life E.S
run by bostic@vangogh.cs.berkeley.edu
------------------------------------------------------------
Selections from Keith Bostic's mailing list
Forwarded-by: kole@hydra.convex.com (John P. Kole)
The Economist on Science & Technology:
There is no practical reason to create machine intelligences
indistinguishable from human ones. People are in plentiful supply. Should
a shortage arise, there are proven and popular methods for making more.
The point of using machines ought to be they perform differently than
people, and preferably better.
------------------------------
From: Sean Eric Fagan [sef@kithrup.com]
Subj: Disclaimer O' The Day
In a commercial for "Gymnast Barbie":
"Gymnast Barbie Doll does not move by itself."
------------------------------
From: Sean Eric Fagan [sef@kithrup.com]
So this aardvark walks into the bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long
face?"
------------------------------
From: Wendell Craig Baker [wbaker@splat.baker.com]
davidr@george.lbl.gov (David Robertson) writes:
The Imaging and Distributed Computing Group of Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory
announces its interactive forms-based frog dissection kit. Images of the frog
from various views, and in various stages of dissection, are generated
on-the-fly based on parameters set by the user. The URL is
http://george.lbl.gov/ITG.hm.pg.docs/dissect/info.html
The image generation server is down right now, but the initial screen (a whole
frog) looks promising.
------------------------------
Taken from the column `Feedback' in the _New_Scientist_, 11 Dec 1993:
A mouth can be a dangerous thing in the wrong hands, as it were. Recently,
Feedback attended a press conference given by Apple to show off some new
multimedia software.
``Here's a great game with the Solar System,'' burbled the demonstrator about
one of the packages. A view of Saturn, with moons revolving prettily in green
around it, appeared on the screen. ``I can click the mouse pointer on one of
the planets...'' said the demonstrator, aiming at one of the moons, ``... and
it comes up.''
As indeed did a picture of Dione, one of Saturn's moons. Oh well, we thought:
moons, planets, what's a name between friends?
But the demonstrator hadn't finished. ``Just imagine trying to get a picture
that detailed on a night like tonight,'' he said, airily waving a hand towards
the cloudy sky outside. ``Even with a decent microscope.''
At which Feedback quailed and turned away. Seeing part of his audience fading,
the demonstrator turned to the rest: ``Anyone else here interested in seeing a
demonstration of astrology?''
------------------------------
From: Vinton G. Cerf [0001050002@mcimail.com] Subj: Internet takes off
This message comes to you by way of one of the MCI private jets on its way to
Arizona. At 41,000 feet, we are using an In-Flite data modem which is under
test for general aviation use. The data rates are very respectable. We
sustained about 4 Kb/s sustained payload delivery (e.g. of a .gif image file
from a gopher server in Wellington, NZ).
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: guy@netapp.com (Guy Harris)
You can have my encryption algorithm... when you pry my cold dead fingers from
its private key.
-- John Barlow, "Decrypting the Puzzle Palace"
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: "Debbie Greenberg" [DEBBIEG@xdb.com]
]From the "Sound Bites" section of Client/Server Computing, July, 1994:
E-Mail @ 55MPH (attributed to Richar A. Danca)
The information highway and the real freeway seem to be merging --
courtesy of DHM Information Management Inc., an Internet provider in
Redondo Beach, Calif.
The organization has started producing license-plate frames with
"yournam@yourhost" across the bottom, as a way to let Internet users meet
each other, according to Karl Fosburg, a partner at DHM.
"They started out as kind of a fun thing to do for some of our customers,"
explained Fosburg. But since Christmas, DHM has sold several hundred
customized frames (at $11 a piece plus $3.50 for shipping) to people all
over the world. The frames are a safe way to meet, Fosburg said.
Fosburg said his favorite frame carries a not-quite real address:
work@home.mom.
------------------------------
From: tuppnet@netcom.com (Virginia R Bedow)
Newsgroups: ba.market.misc
Welcome to TuppNet!
TuppNet is an innovative new way to purchase Tupperware through the Internet.
There are three easy ways to purchase Tupperware through TuppNet.
1. Email. Fill out an order form and mail it to tuppnet@netcom.com
It's that simple. You can do it anytime you wish. When we have processed
your order, we will email you notifying you that your order is on the
way.
2. Public IRC parties. Every Wednesday at 6PM PDT TuppNet will hold a public
Tupperware party on UnderNet IRC.
Once in IRC type /server Davis.CA.US.undernet.org 6667 then type /join
#TuppNet then type /msg tuppnet join
You can now participate in the party. We will answer any questions you may
have. We will also be showing the latest Tupperware products. You can
follow along in the catalog(GIF and text versions). You can order at any
time during the party by filling out an order form, saving it as
order.txt, and sending it via DCC by typing /dcc send tuppnet order.txt
3. Private IRC parties. These are just like public IRC parties, except you
can host them and earn hostess gifts just like you would at a regular
Tupperware party. You set up a time and invite your internet friends to join
you.
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: guy@netapp.com (Guy Harris)
Snarfed from an article in *PC Magazine's* on-line sampler:
Intel is also working with game makers to put "This Game Prefers Pentium"
or "Runs Best with Pentium" logos on game boxes; either slogan sounds
better than "Bloated Code on Board -- Needs Fast CPU."
------------------------------
From: obrien@netcom.com (No parking EXCEPT FOR BOB)
[...] I used to belong to a hobby club. What hobby doesn't matter. The club
treasury was doing quite well, as a result of a lot of volunteerism and some
financially successful events. The club was incorporated under a set of bylaws
that included the following:
@. any member may be expelled immediately by (2/3 of eligible voters) at any
scheduled meeting. Dues will be refunded only if paid in advance, not for the
current year.
@. any person who has never been expelled may join at any time and immediately
participate in voting.
@. dissolution: the club may be dissolved only by a vote of 75% or more of all
eligible voters. Disposition of the treasury, if any, will be determined by
2/3 vote or else must be to [named] charity.
One meeting, 100% + 1 of the current voting membership showed up, joined,
expelled everyone else, and unanimously divided up the treasury into their
pockets.
It can happen.
[...]
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: guy@netapp.com (Guy Harris)
In Herb Caen's column in the July 27, 1994 San Francisco Chronicle, he reports
that one reader noted that Sunday night's Arts&Entertainment channel story on
the Titanic disaster was produced by Dianne Lusitania.
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: good@pixar.com (Craig Good)
--Alan Denney aland@informix.com {pyramid|uunet}!infmx!aland
I'm Pro-Anarchy... and I Vote!
------------------------------
From: elan@ee.lbl.gov (Elan Amir)
... there exists a www site for the Dante volcano explorer whose mission is
going on right now.
The site is: http://maas-neotek.arc.nasa.gov/dante/dante.html
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: Hartmut Michels [michels@masschaos.de.convex.com]
Forwarded by: michels@convex.com (by permission of jrwilson@convex.com)
...
There are lots of Jim Wilson's out there, but this one is still at Convex.
Being in the airplane business, you may be interested to know that the code
word for a cadaver in the airline business is "Jim Wilson". When an undertaker
wants to ship a deceased person, he calls and asks for a "Jim Wilson" fare. We
found this out one time when my wife asked at the gate, "Is there a Jim Wilson
on this flight." The gate attendant responded with something like, "Let me
check with the baggage department. They would have the casket." Needless to
say, my wife was a little taken aback. :-)
...
Regards, Jim Wilson
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: guy@netapp.com (Guy Harris)
The August 3 San Jose Mercury News reports that the Bridgewater, NJ
Courier-News said, in an article, "Investigators have eliminated engine failure
as a cause for the crash because the aircraft -- like all glider planes -- has
no engine."
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: guy@netapp.com (Guy Harris)
The August 3 New York Times reports that an aerospace engineer
...has developed a high-tech doll to give people a realistic sample of
parenthood. The doll is programmed to shriek at random intervals day and
night.
Teen-agers, as a class assignment, take the eight-pound doll home for
three days to get an idea of life with a newborn. The only way to get
the doll to stop crying is for the assigned "parent" to hold a key in
its back for 20 minutes -- the approximate time needed to feed a
newborn. A microprocessor in the doll monitors how long the baby cried
before it stopped and if it was handled roughly.
------------------------------
From: isom (Isom L. Crawford)
A study was done to find out the different methods computer programmers use to
solve problems. The study consisted of taking different programmers to South
Africa and telling them to go find an elephant.
The COBOL programmers immediately adopted a simple strategy; they took a
picture of an elephant, faced east and started walking. Each time they
encountered an animal they compared it to the picture, and if it didn't match
they tossed it aside and kept walking. When they came to an ocean they took
one step north and started back to the west, repeating the algorithm with each
ocean. The more experienced programmers placed a known elephant in Cairo to
keep themselves from walking off into the Mediterranean.
The Assembly Language programmers used the same method as their COBOL brethren,
but executed it on their knees -- insisting it was more efficient that way.
The Database programmers hired thousands of natives at enormous expense, gave
them all a picture of an elephant and sent them running north in different
directions. Some of the things they got back did in fact resemble elephants.
The Artificial Intelligence programmers sat down and developed a complex and
complete definition of what an elephant was, what were its attributes and the
procedure one would follow to create a mathematical ratio of 'not an elephant
at all' to 'absolutely an elephant' for any one animal. At no time did they
actually attempt to find an elephant.
The Object Oriented programmers went to the library and checked out the book
'Finding Kangaroos in the Australian Outback'. They carefully changed every
occurrence in the book of the words 'Australia' to 'Africa' and 'Kangaroo' to
'Elephant'. Then, following the directions in their book to the letter, they
went out and promptly found a kangaroo.
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: guy@netapp.com (Guy Harris)
]From David Plotnikoff's column in last Saturday's San Jose Mercury News:
Yeah, you really *can* buy most everything you want on-line
these days. And I'm not sure that's a good thing. Consider
the recent posting to the "rec.aviation.owning" Usenet newsgroup which offered
former Soviet fighter planes for sale -- dirt cheap. The post included a very
detailed price list and contact information for a Polish aircraft dealer. If
you're interested in shaving some time off your commute, consider a MIG-15
priced at $29,000, including delivery. For those with a little more to
spend a MIG-21, 1973 model, is $58,000. Guaranteed to take your smarmy
neighbor with the new Lexus down a peg or two. If you're interested, drop
e-mail to Paul Kukulka, "pkukulka@smirror.tezcat.com".
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: chris@das.harvard.edu
As Canadian As ...
True story, related by author Margaret Atwood in an interview.
Somebody in Canada started a contest to come up with a saying analogous to "As
American as apple pie." The idea was to finish this sentence: "As Canadian
as..."
The winner: "As Canadian as possible under the circumstances."
--Allan Pratt, apratt@taligent.com
------------------------------
From: CLIFF@CMSA.BERKELEY.EDU (Cliff Frost)
Newsgroups: ucb.net.announce
Hi, Another story for your Only In Berkeley files:
Yesterday morning one of the campus network links was vandalized by a person or
persons unknown.
Followers of these news items know that we have connected the networks at
several off-campus sites with ethernet running through the air over Infrared
laser beams.
These connections have been very stable, but yesterday one of them ceased to
function at 5:34am after someone climbed onto the roof of a building, cut both
the laser's power cable and network connection, and spray-painted the lens with
blue paint.
The vandal(s) left a scrawled note, which read:
Don't try to fix or replace this camera or you will be prosecuted for
invasion of privacy.
Don't [expletive deleted] with the Hell's Angels.
If you fix and replace this camera you will be prostituted and
prosecuted. Really.
The units do look sort of/kinda like they might be cameras, but they aren't
pointed at any private dwellings.
We had the link back up in a couple of hours, and left a note explaining that
it isn't a camera and we really aren't interested in spying on anyone.
Really.
Cliff Frost
Network Services
ps The police were called and are taking this seriously.
pps The occupants of the building have placed a substantial barrier over the
only external access to the roof of their building.
------------------------------
Forwarded-by: Wendell Craig Baker [wbaker@splat.baker.com]
From: Netsurfer Digest 00.13
OKIES ON ICE: TULSA COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE
The Tulsa County Sheriff's Office of all places now has public information
available via Gopher. Beyond the usual PR, the site provides some fascinating
info. It publishes a most-wanted list (you reading this, Billy Wayne, on the
lam in southern California?) and Tulsa County Jail statistics. The jail, when
we checked, was operating at 100.2 % capacity with a seven-to-one male/female
inmate ratio, of whom about one percent were juveniles. Future expansion will
include gang information and a list of County Jail inmates.
"gopher://galaxy.galstar.com/"
------------------------------
From: Wendell Craig Baker [wbaker@splat.baker.com]
Goes to Bell Atlantic for their press release of Mon, 15 Aug 94 09:50:59 GMT.
BELL ATLANTIC PLANS TO RECORD THIRD QUARTER
NON-CASH CHARGES TO POSITION ITS CORE COMMUNICATIONS
BUSINESS FOR COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT
Why does this sound like they're gonna post a loss?
Reading further down the press release ... yep, there it is in paragraph 2,
right at the bottom.
These charges will result in reported losses for the third quarter and for the
year ending December 31, 1994.
Wow, its early and we already gave the award away.
------------------------------------------------------------
1995 Copyright by Henry Cate III All Rights Reserved
The above collection can be forwarded for non commercial use
as long as the signature file below is included
The individual entries of the Life Collection are owned by
the individual contributors who should be contacted
if you wish to forward their entry.
--
Henry Cate III [cate3@netcom.com]
To learn how to get a MS Windows 3.1 Application with
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