The Top Ten ways to get rid of Wesley on Star Trek: The Next
Generation:
10: After slugging down six Shirley Temple's in 10-forward, Wes
stumbles to the holodeck, which he commands to "take me to hell."
His broken body is later found on the empty holodeck in a pool of
vomit.
9: Wesley gets gang-raped by a group of female Klingons.
8: Riker gets carried away executing an order from Picard to "knock
the little snot around a bit."
7: Data catches him tossing off. Uncomprehending, he requires a
detailed explanation from Wesley, who dies of embarrassment.
6: Extensive lab analysis of a green slime found on one of the
control panels uncovers the fact that our favorite ensign has,
once again, been picking his nose. He is summarily fired.
5: Wes gets gang-raped by a group of male Klingons.
4: On an earlier episode, Wes got to kiss a girl who turned into a
Chewbacca-like creature. Here, she returns, and they once again
get involved. (Un)fortunately, once she gets really heated, she
mutates back into a wookie and forces Wesley to be her cringing
sex slave. She then tears him limb from limb and eats him.
3: In a rare episode involving characters from both ST and ST:TNG,
Spock attempts a Vulcan mind-meld with Weasley. Spock barely
survives, spending the next several days scratching himself and
whining.
2: Worf notices a Romulan ship on the scanners, and sends Wesley down
to clean out the photon tubes. Later, someone makes a comment
about the needs of the many having outweighed the needs of the
few.
1: Wes gets involved in a deviant sexual practice known as "tribble
stuffing," not realizing that tribbles multiply _anywhere_. Even
an emergency laser enema by Dr. Crusher fails to save him.
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