What The Professor Really Means
By J. Timothy Petersik
from the Chronicle of Higher Education
You'll be using one of the leading I used it as a grad student.
textbooks in the field.
If you follow these few simple rules, If you don't need any sleep, you'll
you'll do fine in the course. do fine in the course.
The gist of what the author is saying I don't understand the details
is what's most important. either.
Various authorities agree that... My hunch is that...
The answer to your question is beyond I don't know.
the scope of this class.
You'll have to see me during my office I don't know.
hours for a thorough answer to your
question.
In answer to your question, you must I really don't know.
recognize that there are several
disparate points of view.
Today we are going to discuss a most Today we are going to discuss my
important topic. dissertation.
Unfortunately, we haven't the time to I disagree with what roughly half
consider all of the people who made of the people in this field have
contributions to this field. said.
We can continue this discussion outside 1. I'm tired of this - let's quit.
of class. 2. You're winning the arguement -
let's quit
Today we'll let a member of the class I stayed out to late last night and
lead the discussion. It will be a good didn't have time to prepare a
educational experience. lecture
Any questions? I'm ready to let you go.
The implications of this study are I don't know what it means either,
clear. but there'll be a question about it
on the test.
The test will be 50-questions The test will be 60-questions
multiple choice. multiple guess, plus three short-
answer questions (1000 words or more)
and no one will score above 55%
The test scores were generally good. Some of you managed a C+.
The test scores were a little below Where was the party last night?
my expectations.
Some of you could have done better. Everyone flunked.
Before we begin the lecture for Has anyone opened the book yet?
today, are there any questions about
previous material?
According to my sources... According to the guy who taught this
class last year...
It's been very rewarding to teach I hope they find someone else to
this class. teach it next year.
THE FOLLOWING IS A PARTIAL LIST OF ACTUAL WRITTEN EXCUSES GIVEN TO
TEACHERS IN THE ALBURQUERQUE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM BY PARENTS OF STUDENTS:
1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30,
31, 32, and also 33.
2. Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.
3. Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.
4. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.
5. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
6. Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.
7. Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.
8. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed.
Please execute him.
9. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hit in the growing part.
10. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent
this weekend with the Marines.
11. Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off
a tree and misplaced her hip.
12. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
13. Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and
sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu
going around, her father even got hot last night.
14. Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.
15. George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.
16. Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.
17. Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
18. Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.
19. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah(*crossed
out*), diahoah(*crossed out*), dyah(*crossed out*) the shits.
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