GUIDE TO ACADEMIC NEWSPEAK
(edited version of a text written by a student at Harvard Divinity School,
1989)
What they say and what they really mean
_________________________________________
GENDER
radical feminism
OPPRESSORS
white male heterosexuals
BIAS
basing scholarship on reason and evidence
PATRIARCHICAL MODELS
objectivity, logic, rational discourse, mathematics, science, the Bible, the
U.S. Constitution, family values, motherhood and apple pie
POLITICALLY AWARE
politically far-left
BEING DIVISIVE
deviating from the beliefs of the politically aware (see POLITICALLY AWARE);
synonymous with being hostile
LIBERAL ARTS EDUCATION
political indoctrination
GUILT
feeling bad about your genes, but not about your actions
WOMEN & MEN
the forces of good and evil in the dualism of gender (see GENDER)
DIVERSITY
the gathering together of as large a group as possible of discontents, deviants
and social misfits while excluding, suppressing and bashing conservatives,
Republicans, evangelicals, adherents of historical religions, serious students
and anyone resistant to indoctrination
SENSITIVITY
being deferential toward and extraordinarily circumspect around those included
in diversity while gratuitously attacking those excluded from diversity
(see DIVERSITY)
GREATER DIVERSITY
doing a better job of weeding out those excluded from diversity (see
DIVERSITY)
BEING EXCLUSIVE
providing equal opportunity and equal protection under the law, regardless of
race or sex
HERMENEUTICS/DECONSTRUCTIONISM
interpreting texts from the perspective of gender (see GENDER) with a
rationalization by anyone with a French name
VICTIMS
all those not fitting the definition of oppressor (see OPPRESSORS) and
officially recognized far-left groups; does not include refugees from leftist
totalitarian countries, such as Vietnamese boat people, Cuban immigrants, etc.
SEXISM
the discrimination against and stereotyping of women OR the failure to
discriminate against and stereotype men
RACISM
the belief held by white oppressors (see OPPRESSORS) that their race is
superior to that of non-white victims (see VICTIMS) OR the failure to
apologize for one's own race if that race should be white; term is not
applicable to non-whites
MODERATES
the Sandinistas, Castro, Lenin, Mao, Hillary Clinton and all those who are
politically aware (see POLITICALLY AWARE)
ULTRA-CONSERVATIVES/THE FAR RIGHT
all those to the right of moderates (see MODERATES)
LEFTISTS
the empty set; exist only in the rhetoric of ultra-conservatives
(see ULTRA-CONSERVATIVES)
INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE
an ostentatious form of new speak which seeks to remove the generic use of
'man' and 'he' (along with common sense and eloquence) from the language, e.g.
"What are persons, that thou art mindful of her/him? and the child of persons,
that thou doest care for him/her?"
CENSORSHIP
a good thing when done by politically aware (see POLITICALLY AWARE), e.g.
punishing owners of baseball teams for alleged comments made during private
conversations; a bad thing when done by ultra-conservatives (see
ULTRA-CONSERVATIVES), e.g. efforts to stop making taxpayers pay for photographs
of men urinating into the mouths of other men and the like
ICONOCLASM
1. an activity self-righteously pursued by the politically aware; 2. an
activity considered criminal when the icons of the politically aware are
involved (see POLITICALLY AWARE)
ICONOCLAST
one who can dish it out but can't take it
Back to my Political Humor Page
Back to my humor page
Back to my home page