Oneliner Humor

'Oneliner' humor-- stuff that's generally a sentence or two long

Bathroom Graffiti: 'If you can pee above this line, the West Yellowstone Fire Department wants you!'
Canonical Steve Wright lines: I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."
One-line Clinton Jokes (Bumper stickers, anagrams, etc) Link to Rest of Clinton Jokes: Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time...?"
Bill Clinton replied, "No. Some begin with 'After I'm elected...'"
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey: It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
"I get no respect": "I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great Uncle fought for the west!"
"My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens."
More Bumperstickers: Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.
No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.
My Child Can Beat Up Your Honor Student.
Don't Laugh - Your Daughter Might Be In Here. (On Old Truck)
Cats Flattened While You Watch.
I May Be Fat but You're Ugly - and I Can Lose Weight.
Stamp Out Crime - Abolish the IRS